Random Thinking

The World Chess Federation (FIDE) has announced that starting with the Asian Games this week, chess players will be randomly tested for banned substances such as steroids. “I would not know which drug could possibly help a chess player to improve his game,” competition manager Yousuf Ahmad Ali said. But since chess wants to be an Olympic sport, they must clean up the sport by insuring that none of the competitors are using baned substances.

Now the question that comes up at this point is “Chess? An Olympic sport??!!!” The dictionary defines sport as: An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively. Is sitting in a chair and moving little pieces around on a board a “physical exertion”? What’s next? The Monopoly board game competition? Why not go with Twister, at least that involves some physical exertion, and the mixed doubles could be fun to watch!!!

In any case, chess will certainly be a scintillating competition to watch on TV. I wonder if ESPN plans to carry all the matches?

The Lovely Bones
by Alice Sebold

In the first chapter of this amazing novel, we find that our narrator, a 14 year old girl named Susie Salmon, has been murdered. Susie’s life is brutally ended by her neighbor who is actually a serial killer. But this is not a story of death or the hunt for a serial killer, although that is in this story. This is a story about the healing power of love.

Susie narrates the story from heaven, a place much like her home town with a high school like the one she didn’t live to attend. From heaven, Susie can watch her family, friends, the detective trying to solve her murder, and the killer himself. Susie tells us a little about what heaven is like but the real story is in the world she has left behind. We watch as her family slowly dissolves and evolves from the pain of losing a child. Each person in the story deals with the tragedy in their own way. Her father tries to solve the murder but soon finds that solutions will not bring back his daughter. Her mother discovers that this loss only intensifies another loss that she has been avoiding dealing with for years. Her younger sister and brother each find their own way of dealing with the loss of a sibling that they loved deeply. Ray, the boy Susie wanted desperately to kiss and Ruth, the girl who was never close with Susie but who Susie passed on her way to heaven, find their lives forever changed because of the murder.

The narrative is built by the melding of these stories into a patchwork. As the years pass, we see how Susie has changed so many lives both through her life and through her death. And as all these people deal with the events of that tragic winter day, they all find that only through love and forgiveness can real healing begin. It is the absence of love that drives Mr. Harvey to rape and murder. It is the desperate avoidance of love that drives Susie’s mother into the arms of another man. It is the need for love that pulls a family back together and opens up heaven.

I found this book hard to put down, but at the same time I found it hard to pick up. There is so much pain in this story that it is hard to endure at times. But ultimately the story is uplifting. This is a story of how love can overcome any obstacle. Sebold writes beautifully and her characters seem to come to life, even those who are no longer living. I can strongly recommend this book.

(Note: the strong subject matter makes this book unsuitable for pre-teeens.)

A special thanks to Emeline’s Momma (Barbie) for sending this book to me.

So this picture is:

a) a mugshot

b) a homeless person

c) a Manhattan liberal

d) what happens when you are bored while sitting in your in-law’s kitchen

This sounds like one of these phony internet stories but I checked and it really is true. The IRS is giving a refund to anyone who has paid long distance taxes (which is just about every American household) between March 1, 2003 and July 31, 2006. This is because the IRS had been collecting these taxes but a court ruling made the tax invalid.

The tax itself goes back to the Spanish American War. At the time, phones were a rare commodity that mostly only the rich could afford. The government needed to pay for the war. So a long distance excise tax looked like a good way to tax the rich to pay for the war. Over the years, the tax remained but instead of it being a rich man’s tax, as phones became more ubiquitous it became a tax that was collected from virtually everyone. This is where it gets tricky. The original law said that the tax had to be determined based on the length of the call and the distance of the call. So a New Yorker calling Philadelphia would pay less tax on their 15 minute call than a Floridian calling San Francisco. But since no one pays for their calls based on distance anymore, the IRS switched to a per-minute tax. Opponents of the tax charged that this made the tax illegal since it violated the requirements of the original law and the courts agreed. Since Congress refused to change the law, the IRS decided that they would give up the tax.

However, what about the taxes that had been previously collected since 2003 (statute of limitations on tax refunds)? The IRS agreed to a one-time tax credit so that taxpayers wouldn’t have to dig out all their old telephone bills to figure out what they should get back (although that still remains an option if you want it).

On your 2007 taxes, there will be a line on your tax form (which line depends on the form) to claim your credit. How much of a credit you get depends on the size of your household.

• one exemption, the standard refund amount is: $30
• two exemptions, the standard refund amount is: $40
• three exemptions, the standard refund amount is: $50
• four exemptions or more, the standard refund amount is: $60

If you don’t claim it in 2007, you will not be able to claim it in the future. This is a one-time, one-chance refund. Note that even if you don’t have to file a tax return, you must still fill out form 1040EZ-T to get this refund. Spread this around.

Links:

The IRS FAQ on the Telephone Tax Refund

The IRS FAQ on the Telephone Tax Refund for Small Businesses and Tax Exempt Organizations

Thanksgiving Day we are supposed to go to Michel’s sister’s (Eileen) house. She lives near Trenton so without traffic it is at least a 2 hour drive. But the weather was awful (pouring rain and brisk winds) so we expected more than 2 hours. As usual, we are late getting out of the house so we don’t get started until about 1:30 PM. After a quick stop at Starbuck’s, Michel gets a phone call from her mom. The hospital is springing her dad so we need to pick him up and bring him home. We turn around to head for home to get the van since the Volvo can’t hold six people. So finally we get off towards Brooklyn. The traffic is not cooperating. There is a huge accident on the LIE which is causing an hour delay. So finally we get to Brooklyn, pick up Michel’s mom and dad, take them home, and then head to New Jersey. We finally got to Eileen’s house around 6:00 PM. They had lots of good food and good company. Mikey was very well behaved. He has a new game that he loves so we played that. He watched SpongeBob on his portable DVD so that everyone else could watch football. We stayed overnight and left there around noon on Friday. It took us less than 2 hours to get home which is a record.

Saturday we went into Brooklyn to see Michel’s dad. Michel wanted to check his medications to make sure the hospital didn’t screw anything up. I took a picture of myself while I was there that I will post in another blog entry. Sunday we went to Ikea and bought new chairs and I took Beth and her friend Irene shopping for CDs. A busy but good weekend.

So the plan was to roll and smoke a joint that contained a pound of marijuana but…

• Quote:
  A plan to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

  “We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems,” Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.

I bet this idea really sounded good to them while they were high.

Whoops! Got that mixed up. It was a women’s gym refusing a man. Never mind.

Read the article

Flavors (left to right): Turkey and Gravy soda, Sweet Potato Soda, Dinner Roll Soda, Antacid Flavored Soda, Pea Soda
What do you say when the satirical magazine, The Onion, has an article that imitates real life?

I read this article in the Onion a few weeks back. It is about a new line of disgusting flavored products from Frito-Lay.

So today I was looking through the news and found this article about pea flavored soda.

Life imitates art, I guess. The best line from the real article was this comment by the CEO of Jones Soda: “We have the market share leader in turkey-flavored beverages.” And I bet he holds that for a long time!

[  Mood: Happy ]
I was going to blog about what we should do about the O.J. Simpson TV program that was scheduled to be shown on the Fox Network (I was going to suggest boycotts of the sponsors) but apparently that won’t be necessary. They have both been cancelled, probably because of all the heat that was put on Fox by an outraged public and not because they suddenly came to their senses. I just find it amazing that anyone ever thought this was a good thing.

Susan at In Over My Head tagged me a few weeks ago with the five things meme. I have been trying to forget about it but I have finally broken down and decided to respond to the challenge. Apparently this is supposed to be inspiration for writers who need something to make their characters seem more real.

The following is a statement which is supposed to be included with individual memes:

Five Things About Me That Are Generally Not Known:

1) I have tinnitus (ringing in the ears). It is mostly an annoying condition. I can’t stand when things are quiet because then the ringing is most noticeable. At night I like to have on some music or the nature sounds generator that Michel bought for me. She really is thoughtful!

2) I have passed out a dozen times or so since 1990. The first time was on the train on my way home from work on New Year’s Eve (no I wasn’t drinking), but every other time has been at work. I have broken some ribs, got black eyes, broke my glasses, and have a scar over my left eye from passing out over the years. Although doctors have given it various names (vasovagal syncope, neuro-cardiogenic syncope) I don’t have a firm diagnosis or a cure.

3) I have never lived more than 5 miles away from the place I was born. I have lived at four different addresses (not including the hospital where I was born) in my life. I live about a-quarter of a mile from where I was raised. I think it is mostly because I like the area rather than being afraid of new experiences.

4) Like Charles Bukowski, I worked for the Post Office at one time. If I had stayed at the job as long as Bukowski had (2-1/2 years) I would have ended up with another trait in common with Bukowski… I would have become a drunk. We worked nights so our "night" was the morning… so we would go drinking at 8 AM. Which is a really bad idea no matter what hours you work.

5) I had measles when I was in kindergarten (this was before measles vaccinations). I remember being very feverish and wrapping myself up in my blankets but I also remember some kind of warm, inner glow – probably from the feverish hallucinations. But the strangest thing was the hallucinations (perhaps some type of seizure) of everything moving very fast, as if the world was on fast forward. I remember my grandmother, who was very frail in her old age, speeding around the room like Speedy Gonzalez on amphetamines. Those hallucinations would come and go for about a month. I never told anyone about them because I thought they were normal.

So now I am supposed to pick three victims to post their five things but instead I will just suggest that anyone with a blog who hasn’t done this should try it.