February 22nd, 2007
What is love?
I bring him up to bed at night and we sing together for a little while and then he goes through the list of people that he loves. He signs, “I love nana”, “I love mommy”, “I love pop-pop”, “I love the girl (Beth)”, and “I love daddy.” He melts my heart. He lies down and smiles up at me with his sleepy eyes. I rub his back and he quietly drifts off to sleep. But I don’t leave his room. I sit on the edge of his bed and stare at his face. I kiss each of his little fingers including that crooked little pinkie. All I can feel is love for my little guy. For almost 10 years I have lived with Mikey and in those 10 years I have learned to accept him as he is and not as I wish he was. He has Down syndrome and autism and you could make a long list of the things he can’t do and likely will never be able to do but I have no interest in that list. Of course I want him to learn and grow as a person but that is no different than what any parent wants for their child. What I want most for Mikey is to be loved and to be happy. And Mikey is loved and Mikey is happy.
It is standard practice to test pregnant women over 35 to determine if they are carrying a child with Down syndrome. It is also standard practice for babies with Down syndrome to be aborted when the diagnosis is determined. With the recent recommendation that all pregnant women be tested to see if they are carrying a child with Down syndrome we can expect that even more children with Down syndrome will be aborted. This is eugenics and it is wrong. A child should not be aborted because they aren’t “good enough” or because they can’t have the kind of life their parents were hoping for. Yes, having a disabled child will change your life but change can be a good thing. Having Mikey as my son has been one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Technorati Tags: abortion, down syndrome, love









Susan Barr wrote,
Bless your heart, Tom, this is the sweetest, most loving essay I’ve read in ages.
Link | February 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
cabronsito wrote,
You are so right!!!
A couple of days a ago I wrote something related. The problem is that the google-translation is too bad. Should I try to write it in English again?
I put the direct link like my homepage.
The title in English would sound something like this:
“Mommy, what do you give me for my life?!”
Link | February 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Tom wrote,
I translated it through Google and though the translation isn’t very good I was able to understand it. Yes, I wish it was in English and I wish every mother would read it when they get a diagnosis of Down syndrome. Thank you for stopping by and sharing that with me.
Link | February 22nd, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Lisa Comella wrote,
What a wonderful essay. You and your family are truly blessed.
Link | February 22nd, 2007 at 11:45 pm
LeslieAnn wrote,
Beautiful. Thanks, Tom.
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
Jennifergg wrote,
Just beautiful, Tom. I know exactly how you feel; I feel the same.
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 11:21 am
Elbog wrote,
Yes. Profound wisdom found in a child’s heart, given in turn to a pretty sophisticated guy. Love is the key, Love is the answer, Love is why we are.
Thank you, some more, Tom.
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 11:43 am
Deborah wrote,
Yes Tom,
My own Ds angel changed my life. OHHHH….. and for the better…as i look back and see… i was a nomad without a purpose.. then God let me have this chance.. On my 39th bday.. to have the LOVE of my life…. Miss Emily Grace!
Thanks to your website…. I have pulled thru as a single mom with no friends or family nearby….
God Bless you and Mikey and your whole family!
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Rebecca P wrote,
What a wonderful post.
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Kim M wrote,
Thank You!….
Link | February 24th, 2007 at 12:59 am
McKenna wrote,
Tom, that was beautiful. What would the world be without Mikey, Darah, and all of the other wonderful people who have Down syndrome? I’m sad to think how much better it would be if the babies who have been aborted were on this earth. I know Darah has touched more lives in two and a half years than I have my whole life!!
Link | February 24th, 2007 at 5:41 pm