Long Island

A friend of mine sent these to me and they were so accurate that I had to blog them. Thanks Officer Joe!

*You know someone who went to Chaminade.*
*Jones Beach Theater is the best place in the world to see a concert.*
*You don’t go to Manhattan, you go to “the City”.*
*Billy Joel said it best, “Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore.”*
*What’s the big deal about the Hamptons?*
*If you’re not from Long Island or NYC, you’re not really from New York.*
*You know the Belt Parkway sucks!*
*You never ever want to “change at Jamaica”.*
*You never realize you have an accent until you leave.*
*You know where at least one strip club is.*
*You curse. A lot.*
*The geese are everywhere!*
*Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.*
*You can correctly pronounce places like Hauppauge, Commack, Islip, Islandia, and Massapequa.*
*At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.*
*Before you’re legal you drive around your town with your friends, and that’s the most exciting part of your evening.*
*You or someone you know went to college upstate.*
*No word ends in an -ER, just an -AH.*
*You feel like you know Howard Stern.*
*When you’re away from Long Island you love it, and when you’re there you want to move somewhere else.*
*The beach is fun during the day, but is the most magical place in the world at night.*
*You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.*
*No matter what you do, you end up at the diner.*
*High school sports aren’t that important like in other states.*
*You’ve never been to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.*
*Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.*
*You love that salty smell of the ocean.*
*No, you don’t want mustard on that burger!*
*You can’t stand pizza or bagels from any place outside of Long Island or the “city”.*
*You don’t associate Fire Island with gay men.*
*You watched a game show and wondered, “Why are these people so happy that they won a trip to New York?”*
*You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.*
*At some point in your life, you’ve gone clamming.*
*You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these places; Babylon, Port Jefferson, Port Washington or Hicksville.*
*You’ve missed the 2:42 AM “Drunk Train” out of Penn station and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.*
*You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.*
*Your parents used to take you to Carvel when you were a kid*
*You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonald’s and 36 7-11′s.*
*You grew up thinking Chinese food was a basic food group.*
*Your elementary school promoted dodge ball as the top gym activity.*
*You know at least one NYC cop.*

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